Mid Life Crisis: MLC Top 8

The thing about mid life crisis is that it can hit you at any age. Because no one grows old anymore. So mid life has taken on a spectacularly broad range, from 30 to whatever . You know you have MLC when....

a)You leave your job, for no apparent reason but because of a vague believe that you are meant for higher , better things. In your mind you can just see yourself hosting one of those ' Alaska in My Pajama' type shows on TLC.

b)You suddenly believe that you are immensely talented or athletic, and therefore pull out whatever stringed instrument you did not play in college, the theatrical masks, the bronzed with age dumbells, the old cult book you never read. Of course MLC makes everyone a great yakkidy-yaka storyteller/author/poet,movie maker. Tales of betrayal, lust and all the awesome things which never happened just flood your imagination, dont they?

c)You have an affair. You realise your life has rushed past .The love of your life, is probably married to you..and that means sex on national holidays and birthday's. Your children sometimes think.. but they don't necessarily think about you . So you rush off into the freshly waxed /pumped arms of another MLC patient.

d)You buy a really expensive bike . You think you would be happy that you suffer from a great Monday morning excuse called Bad Back, but NO, some red , silver, olive sheet of metal twists your heat into little pellets of Rosy love .And life seems meaningless unless the Big Baby gets his Roadie.

e)The female equivalent gets botox followed by liposuction ,a gay parade hair cut , a soap cougar personality and an evil tatto. When MLC wacks you across the many layers of your carefully acquired jingling tiers , you suffer sister, and you sincerely believe that if you change the way you look, life's gotta give. No comments, women never learn from their mother's do they?

f)MLC also finances a significant amount of the adventure touism industry. Honeymooners can salivate over their luxury hotel packages, but it is the MLC protagonist who wants to stomp the length of Antartica and width of Africa ...it is She/He who is solely responsible for all those crazy spikes on the road less travelled.

g)Our grandparents coped with MLC through religion , newspapers and frequent changes in their Wills which threatened to cut off all those children , friends and relatives who were out of favour at the current moment. But man did our parents show them how it was done. A friend's dad went off , one new year's evening to get a bottle from the corner store. He now lives in South America and is known as Ra The Lama on Facebook.

h)So here we are, getting older , filled with angst and lack of definition. Getting really pissed off with all the time that has slipped away without gathering a single rosebud. What do we do?

i) I say if we are going to do this, let's do this right..Lets get organised ...
Let's Get Started with some group discounts on motorcycles, wine ,botox, and adventure travels.
Let's start a ,MLC social networking site to exchange tips about rare recipes, installation art and of course the three most original ways to help us script/produce our Magnum Opus.
Let's get a, MLC channel which hosts progams like ' How i hate your mother,' and ' MLC Idol' , and ' How to become a Supermodel@ 40' .A channel which will guide us towards making the 'correct' wacky mistakes.
I would personally like to be an MLC Oprah...takers any one?