A Side of Emu !

Life can be a laugh riot!

A snippet from my Monthly Dose: Our grocery store has started stocking emu meat. There is a refrigerator full of emu sausages, emu curry cuts , emu kebabs – a Sunday kitchen of emu . The first time this refrigerator came in, I saw the owner proudly lounging by the spring banner which displayed happy emu birds with cartoon bubbles emerging from their beaks. In rhyme, they informed the customer about ‘how jolly it was to be organic red meat’.  Always ready for a chat, I seized the moment and got into a long discussion with the man about ‘who was buying the meat’, ‘how much had he invested, ‘the benefits, features , advantages’…. and I took a pamphlet home.

After three weeks I went back to the shop. To the naked eye it seemed that nothing had moved but the lounging owner assured me that he had already sold 25 kgs of Emu and had requested for more. I broke into a sweat. I imagined all my favorite neighborhood restaurants, buying the meat at half price and serving it to me as chicken, lamb, or beef.  I waited for the man to move and then I delved into the refrigerator. I did my own check and smiled in satisfaction- not a piece had moved!

The poor man , may have lost some money, but his pride was intact. It has now become our monthly ritual. I buy my veggies, stock up on my meat/fish and bounce along to have the ‘emu conversation.’ We play this little game of hide & seek, he ducks, I chase. Across grocery aisles, Behind the Fish, Between the Bananas and the Litchi cluster-sometimes I catch him, and sometimes he leaves the shop! The flow of emus has both of us living a lie. It is my belief that we have warmed to the charade, him pretending that everyone prefers emu and it is the wisest choice that he has made in a long time and me firmly inspecting the refrigerator content , to check the outflow.  To stir things up a bit, I have googled information about emu farming and I am waiting for my next weekly visit to exchange information.

Snippets from My Daily Dose:

On the route to office, there is a ‘Multi-Cushion Restaurant’ which conjures up pictures of ‘Happy Bottoms’
There is also that Remote IT Helpdesk Boy whose status message reads,’ Love me when I am down because that’s when I need you the most.’ Imaging the CEO of the company, asking him for help!         There is of course the building manager who distributes pamphlets like,
'Dropping rubbish from windows may be fetal to Passers On.’

But the funniest of them all, are the Thumping Sunday Believers from the corner AG Church, who go into paroxysms of Hallelujah, accompanied by Jumps and Shivers, 5 minutes into the service. It is their belief that this is the time the sacred Holy Spirit enters them. My Nana would call them ‘devil worshippers.’  I however feel that the poor souls are just acting out. Having grown up on a diet of Shivaji-The Bose(as they say in our part of the Vindhyas), they see the church as a stage and themselves as supporting artists in a gang-war shot!

A Snippet from My Last Holiday:

But the funniest thing which I have heard in some time was in the heart of Munnar. An excitable Bengalee Ledeej, asked the hotel manager, in her loudest Hindi –for all to hear.

‘Whaaat is there in this jongol, you are taking us to, tomorrow, leopards hai, Tigerrrs hai, Elephaaants- how many?’

The man, in his dusky drawl replied calmly,’ Maydum there is Gaaaaaad.’

Maydum had not expected this repartee and said in a shocked and trembling voice,
'Tomorrow you will take me to see God’!

To which the man said ‘ Yes, Gaaaaaaad is in the jongeel’ .

The Chinnar Wildlife Sanctuary, near the town of Munnar is famous for the Niligiri Tar, or the Nilgiri Goooat!... Next time you think life isn’t hilarious, call me !