Growing Up!

My dad used to sing this song to me ...

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye

Humming these lyrics through most celebrations of life , I knew the words ...but today am discovering their meaning.
At every age block teens to tweens , tweens to threens..we convince ourselves that we have grown up, we tackle life with aplomb, we manage loss better and we aim to be mature.
But degrees, accolades, good appraisals, strong friendships dont really help us become capable, they are just trophies which we hide behind, re-assure ourselves that we are well adjusted people aging correcty like a vintage beverage.

The truth is we never grow up until we are made to , until life snatches away those masks of 'confident','succesful'' fun to know,'which we wear and under which we cower.

You can never grow up , unless you know that you have no fall back plan, safety net of wealthy benefactor and u and only u are responsible for paying for your life and your holidays from life.

You can never grow up, until you realise that all the accolades which crown you victimise you into a person whom you never planned on becoming

You can never grow up until you can be genuinely happy for a friend who has got the life you wanted but the one you know you will never have

You can never grow up until you can forgive your past, parents who have left you with insecurities, teachers who have left you with prejudice, lovers who have left you feeling ugly and unwanted , bosses who have castrated your belief in yourself , and yourself for being selfish and for seizing every opportunity to get your own back on the world

Growing up is about being at a good place..and all of us have different visions of what that Shangri La is ...So let's rip off those band aids holding the fragments of our lives together, expose our wounds so that they heal ...and then..write the rest of our adult history , BECOME OURSELVES AND BID THE PAST GOODBYE!