And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you
These four lines from Kathy's song , define what the angst ridden, recession hit people ,conceive of the world they are living in.
In the hushed corridoors of plush offices you will see without a doubt , thousands of well pruned heads staring blankly into excel sheet ridden screens, brows furiously knitted up....calculating the TCO (total cost of ownership)of the life which one has led in comparison with the life one is supposed to lead in hard times.
As our sensex and our belief systems waltz arm in arm into a downturn..what do we turn to? ..how do we manage with the myriad problems of mortgage, E.M.I's ,rent and responsibility....?
When you see yourself affected by a system far greater and larger than your abilities and individual performance, all you can do ,is revisit your core...and hopefully if our core is not defined by material moments and instruments we will find our answers.
Primitive societies survived in spite their challenged technological state due to their ability to hunt , gather and farm in packs..The collective before the individual does not always lead to hara kiri, or altruistic suicide or communism ;) which might for a cynic ,be a subtle expression of the intercourse of both events.......
But modernism teaches us to celebrate the individual spirit and this stops many of us who believe we are self made brigands to reach out to other people.
In that circumstance how do you cope with this anoemic condition?
No one has seen tomorrow and there is no poetic justice in being a prophet of doom , my two bit for keeping angst and depression at bay, is reach out to the spirit you have acquired to fight your recessions through life.
This is not the first time you have been hit by lack and hard times. Recognise that.
Think about every time life has kicked you in the butt and how u have survived that hurt in the posterior...
Numerous inabilities which you have conquered will jump to the forefront.
You gave up sucking your thumb, and sleeping with your favourite night comforter,wetting your bed, the green monster beneath it.
You steeled out of braces, the inability to see distances or read close, imitating Boy George and Madonna,(the agony and ecstacy of stiff perms, one lobe pierced and leotards) stuttering,copying your parent's singature on bad report cards, lying about everyone u knew.
You got out of talking about your imaginary girl/boy friend,stealing money,pimples , acne, humiliations by the kule gangs u weren't invited to belong to,not understanding the merits of masturbation, talking to God.
You quit envying your best friend's good skin, better placements and partners, you quit hurting people who loved you because it gave you a kick ass sence of power, chasing people who u creeped out because it hurt your ego, and passing judgements on the world perse.
You stopped trying to erase your past, mourning for the friends and family who dimmed out of your world, took a break from sex, drugs, rock n roll and came to terms with who u were ,finally.
A person like any other ,inadequate but content, not mirror cracking good looking but loved, not vastly succesful but creating value , not very rich but a highly prized person,
not
an epic but a haiku...
not an opera just a lilting happy tune in someone's head,
not perfecion but a lasting imperfect impression.
And so my friends...you are the strength you seek and the recession is just a moment in time which will ebb into nothingness ..while you the Ullyses Of Unchartered Waters will conquer forever.
and even as you strive to be the capable loner, believe me when i say that somewhere there is always a person who will think of you ...and hum another verse from Kathy's song..
My mind's distracted and defused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day
Have a lovely weekend :) folks
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
By The Pricking Of My Thumbs
As Macbeth seeks counsel with the Three Wierd Sisters , the second witch, sensitises the audiance of his arrival with the memorable line, "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes." Of course by this point in the play , it has been established that the wicked thing is Macbeth himself, a traitor and murderer.
One wishes that one can similarly predict the arrival of dangerous liasons in one's virtual life.. My single friends are constantly complaining about the unfairness of fate...u just dont get the ones you want and the ones u dont ,.....well they ping, e-mail,and keep in touch with you constantly. And the only pricks you get show up in your phone bills..:)
It's a tough world out there for singletons. Across the gender lines there is but one Aersomith Song serenading the mob,' I let the wrong ones in and the right ones out.' Everyone's looking for someone and yet no one's getting 'any'....because the search is on.....virtually.....
The virtual world blossoms everyday with one more social networking site...which sends the whole singleton army into a Twitter....
Signings done, profiles are written up, status updates which seem suitably kule and blase are thought of.... The serious hunters rustle up their most enigmatic photoshop brushed pics ..which agian bear witness to how thoroughly and totally irrisistable they really are.....
In desperate times..we reach out to disparate measures..chat tooms, travel & similar interest communities, regressive matrimonial sites...anything and everything which bears a promise of freedom from being alone and yet wasn't it this sense of freedom and this need to be able to live one's life by one's own terms what we sought & and why we became singleton's in the first place?
It's all tangled, isn't it ? The strategy and the delivery?
So i guess..wanting to be a singleton is not just a life choice, it's not just the goodies and THERE ARE MANY!
a)You are free to be the Columbus of Mini Breaks.
b) You can actually spend a whole day in bed doing absolutely nothing.
c) You dont need to watch movies, read books , listen to music, seem interested in anything which u care two hoots about...
d)You can more or less make friends with Atilla The Hun or Jack The Ripper without being told to watch out!
e)You can spend as much as u want ,on your wardrobe, shoes OR on other completely superficial artifacts which give you intense pleasure and hedonistic high without feeling the slightest bit of remorse
But with singleton dom comes the lonely evenings, the silent house you leave behind every morning, the sudden pangs of wanting a hug in the middle of the day and of course the Lack of Structure of a life in which groceries, clean sheets, laundry, sunday afternoon smell of fried onions, flowers in the verandah, meat on the pot , and someone else's favourite song playing on the stereo all lend themselves to well rehearsed memory bytes of easy domesticity.
Net Net ....Get Off The Net ....and invest in real relationships. A lot of us , use the virtual saftey of the internet to protect ourselves from the vagaries of a real relationship. But hey, You are flesh and blood not an information byte..and you owe it to yourself not to spend another sunday afternoon looking at the second pillow on your bed and wondering who will ping, call , sms ,email u...while your actually in hiding...being a nowhere man in your nowhere land....
One wishes that one can similarly predict the arrival of dangerous liasons in one's virtual life.. My single friends are constantly complaining about the unfairness of fate...u just dont get the ones you want and the ones u dont ,.....well they ping, e-mail,and keep in touch with you constantly. And the only pricks you get show up in your phone bills..:)
It's a tough world out there for singletons. Across the gender lines there is but one Aersomith Song serenading the mob,' I let the wrong ones in and the right ones out.' Everyone's looking for someone and yet no one's getting 'any'....because the search is on.....virtually.....
The virtual world blossoms everyday with one more social networking site...which sends the whole singleton army into a Twitter....
Signings done, profiles are written up, status updates which seem suitably kule and blase are thought of.... The serious hunters rustle up their most enigmatic photoshop brushed pics ..which agian bear witness to how thoroughly and totally irrisistable they really are.....
In desperate times..we reach out to disparate measures..chat tooms, travel & similar interest communities, regressive matrimonial sites...anything and everything which bears a promise of freedom from being alone and yet wasn't it this sense of freedom and this need to be able to live one's life by one's own terms what we sought & and why we became singleton's in the first place?
It's all tangled, isn't it ? The strategy and the delivery?
So i guess..wanting to be a singleton is not just a life choice, it's not just the goodies and THERE ARE MANY!
a)You are free to be the Columbus of Mini Breaks.
b) You can actually spend a whole day in bed doing absolutely nothing.
c) You dont need to watch movies, read books , listen to music, seem interested in anything which u care two hoots about...
d)You can more or less make friends with Atilla The Hun or Jack The Ripper without being told to watch out!
e)You can spend as much as u want ,on your wardrobe, shoes OR on other completely superficial artifacts which give you intense pleasure and hedonistic high without feeling the slightest bit of remorse
But with singleton dom comes the lonely evenings, the silent house you leave behind every morning, the sudden pangs of wanting a hug in the middle of the day and of course the Lack of Structure of a life in which groceries, clean sheets, laundry, sunday afternoon smell of fried onions, flowers in the verandah, meat on the pot , and someone else's favourite song playing on the stereo all lend themselves to well rehearsed memory bytes of easy domesticity.
Net Net ....Get Off The Net ....and invest in real relationships. A lot of us , use the virtual saftey of the internet to protect ourselves from the vagaries of a real relationship. But hey, You are flesh and blood not an information byte..and you owe it to yourself not to spend another sunday afternoon looking at the second pillow on your bed and wondering who will ping, call , sms ,email u...while your actually in hiding...being a nowhere man in your nowhere land....
Friday, February 13, 2009
Zenias on a Bangalore verandah sliver
Slouching under Mr Gowda's weathered peeling roof ,you smile
at the red table cloth ,the Darjeeling tea cup , the half lit cigarette and the bronzed ashtray.
As that tangle haired woman scowls back at you...
U have grown pale ..your hues have faded into green.
She is scared that she will loose you,
You are delicate, pretty but de-flower in measured time
You crumble and fall..bemoaning the winter run
You are the icon ..the symbol of all things sublime
in this grey chalk of yellow mortar and purple lime
The sunflower and the museum wait in the corridor of tomorrow
You are the aesthetic which makes today..
In the war of the roses you have won.
Since perfume and promises you assure none,
Your beauty is bound in colour and clover
Like packaged modernity,our clay idols , our living celluloid gods
So bloom unstained, let your devotee devour
The new branch which carries the promise of the hour
at the red table cloth ,the Darjeeling tea cup , the half lit cigarette and the bronzed ashtray.
As that tangle haired woman scowls back at you...
U have grown pale ..your hues have faded into green.
She is scared that she will loose you,
You are delicate, pretty but de-flower in measured time
You crumble and fall..bemoaning the winter run
You are the icon ..the symbol of all things sublime
in this grey chalk of yellow mortar and purple lime
The sunflower and the museum wait in the corridor of tomorrow
You are the aesthetic which makes today..
In the war of the roses you have won.
Since perfume and promises you assure none,
Your beauty is bound in colour and clover
Like packaged modernity,our clay idols , our living celluloid gods
So bloom unstained, let your devotee devour
The new branch which carries the promise of the hour
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Growing Up!
My dad used to sing this song to me ...
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye
Humming these lyrics through most celebrations of life , I knew the words ...but today am discovering their meaning.
At every age block teens to tweens , tweens to threens..we convince ourselves that we have grown up, we tackle life with aplomb, we manage loss better and we aim to be mature.
But degrees, accolades, good appraisals, strong friendships dont really help us become capable, they are just trophies which we hide behind, re-assure ourselves that we are well adjusted people aging correcty like a vintage beverage.
The truth is we never grow up until we are made to , until life snatches away those masks of 'confident','succesful'' fun to know,'which we wear and under which we cower.
You can never grow up , unless you know that you have no fall back plan, safety net of wealthy benefactor and u and only u are responsible for paying for your life and your holidays from life.
You can never grow up, until you realise that all the accolades which crown you victimise you into a person whom you never planned on becoming
You can never grow up until you can be genuinely happy for a friend who has got the life you wanted but the one you know you will never have
You can never grow up until you can forgive your past, parents who have left you with insecurities, teachers who have left you with prejudice, lovers who have left you feeling ugly and unwanted , bosses who have castrated your belief in yourself , and yourself for being selfish and for seizing every opportunity to get your own back on the world
Growing up is about being at a good place..and all of us have different visions of what that Shangri La is ...So let's rip off those band aids holding the fragments of our lives together, expose our wounds so that they heal ...and then..write the rest of our adult history , BECOME OURSELVES AND BID THE PAST GOODBYE!
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye
Humming these lyrics through most celebrations of life , I knew the words ...but today am discovering their meaning.
At every age block teens to tweens , tweens to threens..we convince ourselves that we have grown up, we tackle life with aplomb, we manage loss better and we aim to be mature.
But degrees, accolades, good appraisals, strong friendships dont really help us become capable, they are just trophies which we hide behind, re-assure ourselves that we are well adjusted people aging correcty like a vintage beverage.
The truth is we never grow up until we are made to , until life snatches away those masks of 'confident','succesful'' fun to know,'which we wear and under which we cower.
You can never grow up , unless you know that you have no fall back plan, safety net of wealthy benefactor and u and only u are responsible for paying for your life and your holidays from life.
You can never grow up, until you realise that all the accolades which crown you victimise you into a person whom you never planned on becoming
You can never grow up until you can be genuinely happy for a friend who has got the life you wanted but the one you know you will never have
You can never grow up until you can forgive your past, parents who have left you with insecurities, teachers who have left you with prejudice, lovers who have left you feeling ugly and unwanted , bosses who have castrated your belief in yourself , and yourself for being selfish and for seizing every opportunity to get your own back on the world
Growing up is about being at a good place..and all of us have different visions of what that Shangri La is ...So let's rip off those band aids holding the fragments of our lives together, expose our wounds so that they heal ...and then..write the rest of our adult history , BECOME OURSELVES AND BID THE PAST GOODBYE!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Is The New Age Man like a Little Girl?
She talks just like a woman, yes she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.
Bob Dylan pulled at the heart strings of generations of middle class flower children with these words...But a short twist of fate has lead me to state ..that breaking like a little girl has become iconic to the gods of steel rather than the mistresses' of spices..
With the debacle of the Aus Open behind us , the legend gave way to copious tears as his opponent consoled him and his female fans hit the bottle.
The symbolism of all that was great and good looking crying like a little girl is perhaps just an expression of the new age man today who have turned femme with a vengeance. They never cease to cry, whine, sulk, throw tantrums and put your pigtailed 6 year old to shame.
It isn't one man it's all of them...It 's like the Great Plague! As i keep tabs on the men my sisterhood are friends with ,wed, date, work with,offer friendly shoulders to...their tales all sum up to a summary of the anthology of angst...
Dont believe me ..u judge
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs
My friend P has started an analytics firm with 7 men co workers. All the work which they do is squabble and sulk!Instead of Making Hay While The Sun Shines, they ARE RAINY DAY WOMEN who bicker continuously about recession, money, future, finances,cricket,politics, pubs to go to , concerts not to go to..and in this entire social debris ...their chief function is to whine, groan,moan and cry buckets! leaving Snow White wanting to trade all of them for the wicked step mother who , when last checked with Walt Disney plotted..planned..hatched , cracked a looking glass or 2 but never ever complained of getting stoned!
Hansel and Gretel
The Best Friend Syndrome is one which has been written in tears.
Men make the worst best friends, because they believe that a woman friend is something between a long last nanny and a fairy god mother who has to listen to them crib about their jobs, the wives/girlfriends who left them, the women they hope to nail, the boss who is way dumber than they are,and their oh so work in prgress hair and gymn stories.
..They also believe that as best friends they are entitled to continuously have an opinion on everything and force it down your throat, win every arguement,be the devil's advocate and always understand 'the guy who slept with you and never called back' point of view.
Learning : Gretel should feed Hansel to the wicked witch and not give in to any silly ideas about using breadcrumbs to find the way home.
Beauty and The Beast
The Prince Charming of yore was this dashing handsome man who would sweep you, a horse and a sunset off on his strong shoulders and not turn a hair.But today , the Prince Charming and the Beast have traded places and how.Love in the 21st century is defintely choleric!
You pay for most things...equality has given us a raw deal.
He is always broke or paying mortage or a divorce settlement or EMI on his jazzy bummed car.
Remember the beast who used to keep pining for beauty and eating rose bushes or similar vegetation..
The modern lover is no better, he pines, he wallows, he gets upset when the simplest trysts are not kept, he is emotional, he is painful, he nurses a mental image of a broken heart and yearns for those golden times when you could lock a woman in a castle and just keep her there..He smses , he calls,
he lives the Sting song,'Every Breath you take, I will be watching you.'
And he cries.how he cries ! having gotten in touch with his feminine other..he has switched over..so much so that today with his gymn toned body and his pretty Loreal Locks he is Beauty and she is the Beast
Question: How do we fix this gender bender..How do we stop the weeping, wailing ,whining?
How do we stop them ,'breaking just like a little girl'?
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.
Bob Dylan pulled at the heart strings of generations of middle class flower children with these words...But a short twist of fate has lead me to state ..that breaking like a little girl has become iconic to the gods of steel rather than the mistresses' of spices..
With the debacle of the Aus Open behind us , the legend gave way to copious tears as his opponent consoled him and his female fans hit the bottle.
The symbolism of all that was great and good looking crying like a little girl is perhaps just an expression of the new age man today who have turned femme with a vengeance. They never cease to cry, whine, sulk, throw tantrums and put your pigtailed 6 year old to shame.
It isn't one man it's all of them...It 's like the Great Plague! As i keep tabs on the men my sisterhood are friends with ,wed, date, work with,offer friendly shoulders to...their tales all sum up to a summary of the anthology of angst...
Dont believe me ..u judge
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs
My friend P has started an analytics firm with 7 men co workers. All the work which they do is squabble and sulk!Instead of Making Hay While The Sun Shines, they ARE RAINY DAY WOMEN who bicker continuously about recession, money, future, finances,cricket,politics, pubs to go to , concerts not to go to..and in this entire social debris ...their chief function is to whine, groan,moan and cry buckets! leaving Snow White wanting to trade all of them for the wicked step mother who , when last checked with Walt Disney plotted..planned..hatched , cracked a looking glass or 2 but never ever complained of getting stoned!
Hansel and Gretel
The Best Friend Syndrome is one which has been written in tears.
Men make the worst best friends, because they believe that a woman friend is something between a long last nanny and a fairy god mother who has to listen to them crib about their jobs, the wives/girlfriends who left them, the women they hope to nail, the boss who is way dumber than they are,and their oh so work in prgress hair and gymn stories.
..They also believe that as best friends they are entitled to continuously have an opinion on everything and force it down your throat, win every arguement,be the devil's advocate and always understand 'the guy who slept with you and never called back' point of view.
Learning : Gretel should feed Hansel to the wicked witch and not give in to any silly ideas about using breadcrumbs to find the way home.
Beauty and The Beast
The Prince Charming of yore was this dashing handsome man who would sweep you, a horse and a sunset off on his strong shoulders and not turn a hair.But today , the Prince Charming and the Beast have traded places and how.Love in the 21st century is defintely choleric!
You pay for most things...equality has given us a raw deal.
He is always broke or paying mortage or a divorce settlement or EMI on his jazzy bummed car.
Remember the beast who used to keep pining for beauty and eating rose bushes or similar vegetation..
The modern lover is no better, he pines, he wallows, he gets upset when the simplest trysts are not kept, he is emotional, he is painful, he nurses a mental image of a broken heart and yearns for those golden times when you could lock a woman in a castle and just keep her there..He smses , he calls,
he lives the Sting song,'Every Breath you take, I will be watching you.'
And he cries.how he cries ! having gotten in touch with his feminine other..he has switched over..so much so that today with his gymn toned body and his pretty Loreal Locks he is Beauty and she is the Beast
Question: How do we fix this gender bender..How do we stop the weeping, wailing ,whining?
How do we stop them ,'breaking just like a little girl'?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A word of caution!
All animals are equal but pigs more equal than others!
Borrowing from this oft mis-quoted line from Animal Farm, i would like to present my little musing on the discrepancies of life which we often face,when the other guy always gets the yummier partner, low emi , high value house, dream job, and lady luck!
a)Beware of a boss who pats you on the back and gives you extra roles to fulfill. It means he is going to give the raise and the credit to someone else , while you will clean the trenches.
b)Beware of the colleague who says you are looking great nowadays, it means that your flying too high and they are probably plotting to take you down a few notches.
c) Beware of the landlord who says you are almost family, it definitely means he is going to hike the rent because he feels you ought to fund the emi of his wife's latest little folly.
d)Beware of the gymn which says they will help you melt that weight away, they are sadists who are planning to plants bones where none existed.
e)Beware of the book which has 'Bestseller for 10 weeks' at the back....On whose List?The Visually Challenged and Illiterate.
f)Beware of the Relative who calls you weekly, they definitely plan to borrow money, get jobs for their children,or they are planning to move in with u Indefinitely.
g) Beware of the man or woman whom you like when they tell you , that you 'get them' , be very sure that they will end up with the people who don't get them at all and will drive them crazy.
h)Run from anyone who calls you sweetheart and friend. You are wasting your time..you are a shoulder to cry on , a booze to use....but hey your not the one! Get It...
Life's Not Fair! Moving On.
Borrowing from this oft mis-quoted line from Animal Farm, i would like to present my little musing on the discrepancies of life which we often face,when the other guy always gets the yummier partner, low emi , high value house, dream job, and lady luck!
a)Beware of a boss who pats you on the back and gives you extra roles to fulfill. It means he is going to give the raise and the credit to someone else , while you will clean the trenches.
b)Beware of the colleague who says you are looking great nowadays, it means that your flying too high and they are probably plotting to take you down a few notches.
c) Beware of the landlord who says you are almost family, it definitely means he is going to hike the rent because he feels you ought to fund the emi of his wife's latest little folly.
d)Beware of the gymn which says they will help you melt that weight away, they are sadists who are planning to plants bones where none existed.
e)Beware of the book which has 'Bestseller for 10 weeks' at the back....On whose List?The Visually Challenged and Illiterate.
f)Beware of the Relative who calls you weekly, they definitely plan to borrow money, get jobs for their children,or they are planning to move in with u Indefinitely.
g) Beware of the man or woman whom you like when they tell you , that you 'get them' , be very sure that they will end up with the people who don't get them at all and will drive them crazy.
h)Run from anyone who calls you sweetheart and friend. You are wasting your time..you are a shoulder to cry on , a booze to use....but hey your not the one! Get It...
Life's Not Fair! Moving On.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
A story about New Hopes
2009 has dawned on us like a hangover Sunday ....and this could be a short summary of our hopes and dreams! Please accuse writer imagination!
This Year
The Lover is hoping to actualise his one true love. Kickboxing.........himself......the only girl in the world who refused him or a new fetish..
The Rainy Day Man is trying to find a new mailbox to write from, so that he can post a beginning and come home.
The Consultant is hoping to step into Alice's Looking Glass so that she doesn't have to drive to a job which is located at the end of the world for peanuts.
The Queen of Hearts is hoping to rise from the debris of heartbreak on her 2008 pack of cards to a braver world of corporate machinations freed from political love.
The Drunkard is hoping that his mother will find him a beautiful rich new bride and the sudden but traumatic death of his old one.
The Saint is strategising on the prospective future of 28 apostles while hoping and waiting for Godot.
The Genius is hoping to wring the neck of B.Ramalinga Raju to appease his equity balance.
The Singer is hoping to serenade a coy 25 year old into becoming his happily after..
The Grim Reaper is planning to recession at home.
The Child is hoping to celebrate her birthday in Paris.
The Good Friend & Advisor is hoping to get some quick loving, and wipe the rest off on the curtain.
The Painter is hoping to become a business tycoon and make Mandarin profits.
The Youth is hoping to dash around with a Singaporean, a Pakistani or mother's home made recipe.
and The Author is Hoping to Marry Off Mother....!
This Year
The Lover is hoping to actualise his one true love. Kickboxing.........himself......the only girl in the world who refused him or a new fetish..
The Rainy Day Man is trying to find a new mailbox to write from, so that he can post a beginning and come home.
The Consultant is hoping to step into Alice's Looking Glass so that she doesn't have to drive to a job which is located at the end of the world for peanuts.
The Queen of Hearts is hoping to rise from the debris of heartbreak on her 2008 pack of cards to a braver world of corporate machinations freed from political love.
The Drunkard is hoping that his mother will find him a beautiful rich new bride and the sudden but traumatic death of his old one.
The Saint is strategising on the prospective future of 28 apostles while hoping and waiting for Godot.
The Genius is hoping to wring the neck of B.Ramalinga Raju to appease his equity balance.
The Singer is hoping to serenade a coy 25 year old into becoming his happily after..
The Grim Reaper is planning to recession at home.
The Party Animal is hoping to come out of the closet soon
The Entrepreneur is hoping to satiate her thirst on a calorie full or free accountThe Child is hoping to celebrate her birthday in Paris.
The Good Friend & Advisor is hoping to get some quick loving, and wipe the rest off on the curtain.
The Painter is hoping to become a business tycoon and make Mandarin profits.
The Youth is hoping to dash around with a Singaporean, a Pakistani or mother's home made recipe.
and The Author is Hoping to Marry Off Mother....!
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